There’s a new
trend, both in the broader zeitgeist and among my clients and social networks.
A Little Backstory
been feeling the need for Clarity. Courage. Confidence. I hear this a lot in my
clients, and it’s part of the existing societal narrative.
Your “urge” to
understand yourself, to know who you are, occurs organically as you evolve, or
as your perspective expands, You’re more able to see who you really are. You
want to be more of yourself.
These patterns of
how Purpose evolves in the human developmental stages is the underlying thesis
of my upcoming book, The
Golden Thread: Where to Find Purpose in the Stages of Your Life.
But you don’t
necessarily see your own unique contribution. Most of us are not great
witnesses of ourselves.
So we need those
· Clarity about who we are.
· Courage to claim and live into that more authentic
version of ourselves.
· Confidence about how to do that, to integrate it
into our lives, relationships, and everything we offer in the world, including
our careers and businesses.
The end result is
that we get to experience both more meaning and impact as we become more of
ourselves. Whatever that “self” is.
Hallelujah. We certainly need more of that.
But Here’s What I’m
This new trend in
the social narrative is a new thread in our unconscious awareness. Probably
related to the absolute lack of it in our broader infrastructures.
paradigmatically, it’s a huge tension for us, as our Center of Gravity, the
place we’ve begun to arrive in our human development, is shifting to a more
The new narrative
I’m hearing about is Trust, or the lack of it.
You’d think that if
we live in a free society with justice, equality and democratic values, that
Trust should be a basic value, native to our traditional, modern, post-modern
and evolving integral culture.
But here’s the rub.
Even as many of us
are evolving as humans, shifting into wider and wider perspectives of
consciousness (many of us have been doing work to wake-up, grow-up and
clean-up), so that we can now see the critical importance of collaborative,
cooperative and inter-related ways of being….
…. our social
structures aren’t necessarily following suit. And that traps people into an old
paradigm of me-first and competition-oriented structures. [Note: Gallup
released its poll March 2019- only 40% of Americans have confidence in the
integrity of our elections, source: Statista,
And that’s a
down-shift in evolution. Rolling backward on the uphill climb.
To be clear, I’m
NOT making a political statement here. You have your perspectives, I have mine.
But you get the drift.
If we’re not
creating social, political, economic and other structures that promote Trust,
then we lose faith in each other AND ourselves that anything can change. That
we can grow and adapt.
That it will all
work out just fine.
Here’s what Happens
When We Lose Trust
When we lose trust
in each other, and ourselves, it has a huge effect on our neurological and
biological systems. And our will to persevere. We lose faith that we can have
any effect. Any impact on how things are. And of course it spirals from there.
Does that sound
like what’s going on to you, too?
Here’s a New
York Times interview with David Rock, Director of the
Neuroleadership Institute. Rock describes how SCARF (status, certainty,
autonomy, relatedness and fairness) affects how we respond to others at work,
which can also be extended to other social environments and culture in general.
We lose trust in
each other when these basic relational needs are not met. We become defended.
Shut down. We lose our sense of clarity, confidence and courage.
And then, we don’t
trust ourselves, which limits our own ability to move forward in life.
And Then We Ask…
And it follows that
we’d ask, “Why would I want to bother making my own unique contribution? Why
would I go out of my way to live into a purposeful existence, if the broader
culture is rolling backwards?” Basically because
You have to care
for and trust in yourself and others because it’s the only chance you have in
this human lifetime to be truly happy, to affect your own personal welfare, and
to have any impact on the planet.
It’s a stretch to
imagine that we can learn to Trust ourselves better than we can trust our
And we have to
How about starting
here. Where you are.
Choose to be You.
Nothing left out.
When you start to make sense out of your own life, there’s no turning back. You
Trust yourself, and know that it will be alright.
Are you ready for
Clarity? Confidence? Courage?
I’d love to hear
your thoughts about this.
Feel free to share
more about how you plan to live into more clarity, confidence and courage to
create a purposeful and impactful life.